Trying to be Better

I keep thinking I should blog more but when I sit down to the computer I blank on what to say. I feel I have to tailor everything that I say to fit a niche. Well I’m not niche-able, hell my ass has problems fitting in some seats so how is it going to fit in a niche?

The last few months have been a blur and not a running blur, I’m sad to say. It was my choice and I’m living with the results. Hubby developed an ankle/tendon issue and could not even walk or take stairs easily. Refusing to go see a doctor (MEN!), we got him a slip brace and it helped quite a bit. We’ve been doing walking on the weekends playing Ingress (his fault, now I’m hooked) to get his ankle back under him and see if running will be in the future. He’s put on weight and mine has crept up about 5-6lbs in the last 3 months. Even with eating mostly healthy, the lack of movement is my biggest issue.

Which brings me back to today. Hubby and I went out for a spot of Ingress after work at a local park and it’s prom season. My lovely April of bluebonnets and storms have given way for slim and trims in sexy gowns to take over my quiet spots. I won’t lie to you – every self-esteem issue came up because there was no way any hot blooded male would not notice those barely covered youthful curves. I don’t fault my Hubby for a quick look but I fault myself for the negative mindset and the internal anger I should not have directed at him due to my own insecurities. It wasn’t fair and I guilt tripped myself all the way home. I am my worst enemy.

Upon arrival, I went straight to the scale. I had only eaten a Schlotzsky’s sandwich and then my usual sandwich/salad at Paradise Bakery so It’s not like I had McDs and Burger King and CiCi’s buffet for my meals. I did okay, not lean and green but certainly not trash food.

323lbs at the end of the day. Well, fuck. Fine. I accept the number cause its the truth. But I don’t have the like accepting it.
Then I checked FB. My galpal (who got me into running) was back at Disney for her 3rd round of the Tinkerbell Half Marathon Challenge. Sigh. *hangs head in shame*

My ultimate running goal is a 2 parter: drop 175lbs (ideal weight of 150lbs) and run the Disney marathon weekend with her.

So what the Fuck have I been doing? Sitting on my ass bitching about work and no time to run. I get up at 4am to get ready for work, get home by 5pm and then making dinner an hour later and then in bed by 8-9pm. I suck at putting me first.

Well, that’s changing in less than a month, because we are moving. Yes, after 5 years of living in Plano we will be moving to the lovely Valley Ranch area in Irving.

I’ll be cutting my commute from 20 miles to 4 (45 min one way down to 6min). I won’t have to get up early to travel before traffic hits the highway, heck I won’t even have to touch a highway! Biking to work would actually be possible (going home might be more complicated).
BEST NEWS, I will be a stone’s throw from Sam Houston Trail Park, a 22-mile loop + 4 other parks linked via a greenbelt to total up to about 29 miles, I think (fuzzy number). I just have to cross one side street and I’m in the park!

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So now, there is no excuse. I’ll have a 5 minute (maybe 10 minute tops) drive home at 4pm. It would give me literally over 2 hours before Hubby would be home for dinner. I can run a 5k in an hour. This will be a training dream come true. I’m looking so forward to it that I’ve gotten in contact with the

This will be a training dream come true. I’m looking so forward to it, that I’ve gotten in contact with the IRC and considering some social runs which I’ve never done outside of races.

Another change I’m making to my running is only signing up for 3-4 races a year (the big ones I care about). This ties into my financial goal of paying off my credit cards/ student loans/ car loan debt before I’m 36. Six more years. (Happy side note – the car will be paid off in 10 months!)

After some sporadic runs in the last few months, I can tell you that I’m completely unfit to race. Walking, I’m great – 2 hours of energy with a smile… but to run again, like under a 20-minute pace? It’s going to require redoing my C25K training again.

So with a pending move on the horizon and the Purge of stuff well underway, I can only commit to doing my C25k training right now. I’m not going to beat myself up by setting the bar too high and becoming all consumed by running (hey I have other hobbies!). Plus this is Texas y’all. No one in their right minds begins hard training in summer! 9 weeks of 3x week, starting tomorrow would put me mid-July to complete it. I can hold steady that distance and work on pace through August/September. Then begin adding distance in October when we level out of the 90s…hopefully.

I don’t know how often I will write in here this time. I’m tentatively gauging for once a week as the only time I have to write is on the weekends and pre-moving will begin impacting that soon enough.

It’s 10pm so I’m gonna turn in so I will actually get up at 7am to get my run on. Have a Great Weekend and Happy Mother’s Day!



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