Peaceful surrender

I remember a time back in my college days where life was a calm beauty after a tremendous “dark night of the soul”. I was down at a smaller rural college and it was summer time. Most of the other students were gone and the campus was a quiet ghost town. I had recently lived through a rough breakup and a terminated friendship to a once beloved “sister” whose intentions had been bad from the start, I had been blind to her plots. It was the first time I saw just how hated you could become if your faith differs from the majority. I was a conversion experiment- a failed one in her eyes and so her and her church dubbed me a Devil’s whore.

Needless to say it put me on my ear for a good while and I had to slowly dig my way out of a depression and fear. One thing that my friend from home had mentioned was beginning a gratitude journal.

Each day I would write in it about the simple pleasures I had that day and being ever thankful for them. I recognized that every moment I had was a gift- seeing the butterfly on my way to an art class. Walking in the sun with my music and not seeing a single soul on the way.

I enjoyed a drink every night as I typed away on my laptop a storyline for a fictional novel. Relishing the present had become a lifestyle well suited for happiness.

I really miss that feeling as I have gotten wrapped up in the crazy frenzy called life. I am always worried about the next day. How will work be? What do I need to get done in the mornings? Am I getting enough runs in? Eating too much? Am I going to get time today to create?

Rush, rush, rush…

I freaking need to stop rushing!

So starting tomorrow, I am going to begin taking mental notes during my breaks and try to get a walk in outdoors if I can help it. I need to make sure I take time for me each day and I am going to try to to get back that mindset from the one glorious summer when I surrendered to present and took each day for what it was….a new day.

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