Just Breathe.

Yesterday while sitting with Bill in Paradise Bakery eating dinner an old song came whispering on the air. I tried my best to ignore it afraid it was some sappy song that would have spliced my already frayed nerves resulting in a public meltdown that would be a helluva scene.

It had been a hellish day at work as you well know…but I was feeling miserable, scared, and cornered.

Finally I relented to my eavesdropping tendencies and narrowed my focus on the lyrics. Seeing my tilted head and spacy look Bill pulled out his phone (his instincts are well honed) and got his app out to help with my straining ears…

Turns out it was Michelle Branch’s Breathe.

Of all the songs in the world… it would be that one!

“So just give me one good reason
Tell me why I should stay
Cause I don’t want to waste another moment
In saying things we never meant to say

And I take it just a little bit
I, hold my breath and count to ten
I, I’ve been waiting for a chance to let you in

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I’ll know everything is alright
Breathe
Every little piece of me
You’ll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe

Well it’s all so overrated
In not saying how you feel
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what’s real

And I give you just a little time
I, wonder if you realize
I’ve been waiting till I see it in your eyes

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I’ll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You’ll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe
Breathe”

Now, I don’t know how many people believe in signs, spiritual messengers (titles don’t matter much), or Karma but that song struck a nerve and woke me up. I am wanting one reason as to why I should stay at this job and if I just breathe I think that maybe, everything will actually be alright. But I’m not gonna stand here and watch my chances fade.

So today while driving to work in a decent but foreboding mood (our computer program broke and I wasn’t sure what kind of disaster zone I was walking into) I turn onto my street and there is a Semi parked there, not a normal resting zone for them, and the back of this cab had the words “God’s Love Never Fails”.

I’m a generic spiritual person with no major ties to any one religion. I think they all have good teachings and if they help spread Goodness, Kindness, Love and Light then they win my stamp of approval (their members can be different story)

Anyways, that was a very uplifting message to receive before walking into the unknown.

Thankfully, today has been calm and I have been keeping my head down and being properly ignored by nearly everyone.

I just help out where I can and stay the meek little contractor (who is not really part of the team). Silently I am updating resumes on the main sites I use and applying for 27 jobs when there were pauses, of course.

I have a gut feeling that the end of this month may be the time. I sure don’t want to be here after the first when it solely down to 3 people holding the Department up. Considering the 2 who I would be left with feel as though they do everything here anyways…I don’t mind letting them see if they really want to stand by that attitude.

2 workers…no supervisor…. no upper level department manager….

Yeah sounds like fun…

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