I did not discover Wicca until I was in highschool- a Catholic prep school no less. I had the unfortunate luck of being sent to Catholic grade school and then transferred to the local HS. Looking back my parents were very smart. I DID get the best education and college prep training at Nolan.
Back at SMG (grade school) we had mass every Thursday and each class grade put it on. It was always my pleasure to sing and read from the scriptures and growing up I honestly considered becoming a nun. I thought a life connected to the Divine would be simple and happy.
In 8th grade my class was holding our last Mass and we went all out. We had students with drums and guitars and it was going to be amazing. We took great pride in what we had planned and I was the head singer…
However, the priest, Father Jim Reilly was in a bad mood and seeing some students “not saying the Creed” was the last straw. He brought down the Gospels and be cruelly preaching to us that we were the downfall of the church and we had no respect.
I had been taught you can always trust a priest if you can’t trust anyone else. That day, I stopped trusting priests. I had been humiliated in front of the whole school (my mom was there) and it was horrible. I had never seen a priest act the way he did. Teachers wanted to take their classes out of Mass but peer pressure kept them in the pews.
Later he came to say he was sorry and asked forgiveness.
I told him No. I told him that Jesus welcomed the children and he had yelled and called us names. He was not acting like Jesus and that made him a bad priest.
Yeah, that didn’t go over so well. But I learned a valuable lesson at 15- Priests were just men, not these holy messengers of God that were infallible like I was taught. A few weeks later the Abuse Scandal rocked the very core of the Catholic Church. Finally seeing with the blinders off, I turned away on the night of the 8th grade retreat. I wrote a letter to God and threw it into the bonfire.
I’m sorry but I can’t believe you would allow your priests to hurt others. I can’t believe in a God that allows this to happen.
I left the faith that night and took a journey to discover what I personally believed in. I agreed with Buddha’s teachings and the thought that all energy is linked. I railed against anything that said women could not be priests or leaders of religion.
Then, as a sophomore in Nolan I had settled in with the theater misfits and one girl, we called her Chewy, placed Silver Ravenwolf’s Teen Witch in my hands. I read it, and I was home.
My Mother is a very very smart cookie. As a librarian she was acute about what I was reading and picked up on my interest but said nothing for the next several years. I stayed in the Theater group and got some hard lessons about people who follow the darker stuff (now I know they were Satanists and psychic vampires. People who just felt sludgey). Gained friends and lost some, dated a loser and learned what heartbreak was. Typical High school (but damn my poetry was good!)
Finally my senior year I came out of the broom closet to my mom. I was scared shitless. I was then in awe on just how intuned she was and frankly, had no issues with it (had figured it out long ago). She just didn’t want me getting in trouble at school.
For the most part I didn’t. 🙂 Well mostly.
College was the grande eye opener of how hateful people could be. I was one of 3 pagans in the area and I had met my roomie at orientation and we hit it off great. We didn’t have a problem until she and my guypal started dating. Drama unfolded and certain claims were made about something happening at the apartment. Confusion based upon her actions and reactions caused me to not believe her.
Tension got worst and after a 3 page letter calling me out I moved into a new apartment. Finally, I was giving a heads up that she had gone public at her church that “I had summoned a demon to rape her out of jealously of her relationship. And now she was pregnant.”
Yes. This is a true and pathetically sad case of stupidity.
The saddest part was the other 2 pagan refused to back me up or be seen in public with me. Hence why I may have some hang ups about dealing with covens.
Now, years later… turns out she and her boyfriend didn’t save it for marriage and needed a story. Oddly enough there was a wedding not long after…hmmmm…
After that drama I transferred to my hometown and the huge college of UTA to finish my degree. It was FABULOUS!!!! My degree was demanding and took much of my time and braincells- my time of personal study was gone. Knowledge that was once very sharp was dull and while I could still put together any basic spellcraft, it didn’t have its punch anymore. I graduated and found work and then the Love of my life after kisses some ugly ass toads.
Now, I have the time and the desire to retrain myself to the Craft and reclaim what I had on a new level. I am not that High School girl anymore but an adult and more wisdom beyond my years. It is time…
And the time is now!